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Author: Defne Karabatur | Senior Staff

Two minutes after my Uber trip started last week, my driver was angry that another driver would not let us pass the intersection. He turned around and quickly apologized to me: "Sorry, it's already a morning," he said. "My garage door is broken." I answered incorrectly, "I'm sorry", not knowing what else to say. The strange thing is that I feel connected with him because I know he also had a difficult start today. 

When I woke up that morning, I felt lost. I was late to meet with my work-study tutor, and I knew that I would not be able to get to Evans Hall from my apartment in the Southside Depot in time. I gave in and called an Uber. 

The brief conversation between me and the driver kept us calm for the rest of the car. None of us spoke, but I could feel our presence was enough to remind each other that it didn't matter if we had a bad morning. Everyone will. 

When I got out of the car, I thanked him for letting me get closer to Evans than the location suggested on the Uber app, and ran to the seventh floor. Of course, fortunately, my supervisor is not in her office. 

Fiddling with my phone, I realized that my key had fallen somewhere. I laughed at myself, maybe because I tried to be dramatic, or maybe because I tried to ease my emotions. Either way, I am still sleepy and disappointed in myself, first because of being late, and now because I forgot my keys.

I started backtracking, walking upstairs in Evans, asking the front desk of the math library if there was any lost and found (apparently not), and even called the Uber driver, but it was sent to the voicemail. My The key is nowhere to be found.

I went to the next class unconvinced. Looking around, I can see some of my classmates yawning, distracted or talking to each other. Seeing the huge difference in their emotions reminds me of how unique and complicated each person's experience is. One day, you can feel infinite joy, and the next day, you may need to exhaust all your energy to force yourself out of bed. 

On my way home from get out of class, I decided to check the hat shop on Telegraph Street for the Halloween costume hats I wanted. 

I bet carefully with myself that they wouldn't own it. In fact, deep down, I hope they don’t wear hats. In this way, I can play the victim and tell stories. I want to be dramatic, because that is all I have left that day.

I asked if the ladies' hats at the cash register are in stock. She disappeared for a minute before returning to the counter. "Here," she said. I looked up in surprise. "Wait, do you have one?" I asked. "Yes," she replied in confusion, as if to say, of course we have red bucket hats, we are a hat shop! I tried this hat on, and what made me even more confused was that it fits perfectly, as if it was waiting for me to pick it up. 

I took my new red bucket hat home and met my landlord outside the door. She gave me a complete smile. "I'm sorry I lost your key," she said. "But I can only say that this hat... is cute." I can feel my frown slowly breaking the tension and bending upward. "Thank you, I just received it!" I replied with dizzy excitement, as if this was the last golden ticket to the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. 

Is this all I need to find happiness? Find the hat I want and someone compliments me? Remind yourself that it is okay to experience negative emotions occasionally? Or admit that others have hard times? When I thought more, I realized that happiness is not in my new hat itself, but because I experienced a series of unfortunate events that day, I began to believe that I was not lucky enough to experience happiness, and I should not try to find it. . In the process, I have let go of all my expectations of happiness. 

In a way, expecting to find happiness when dealing with trivial but inconvenient problems is like trying to force your umbrella to work in a storm. Sometimes you have to put down your umbrella, feel the rain and let yourself get wet. Maybe by then you will realize the harmony in its noise.

Because when you live in such a moment—when you let yourself feel negative emotions and don't force yourself to show a false smile—you will soon realize that you already have everything you need to find happiness in your heart. Sometimes, even in unfortunate circumstances, you will find happiness in unexpected shapes, forms, and colors. 

It's like a red bucket hat just right.

Defne Karabatur is the associate editor of social media. Contact her at [email protected].

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